Thursday, January 15, 2009
Help, I'm related to my boyfriend
Dear Dr. Jo: I’ve been with my boyfriend for 4 years and 6th months into it we found out we were related. Our families don't know but it’s a secret that has always been a problem with us. We're always afraid someone will find out. The blood relationship is not close but is existent, I know it’s late to ask but, what should we do.
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This is tough. The decisions you need to make are truly your own and my opinion on the subject really doesn't matter. Since this is a value judgment, how you live has to be based on your own values and morals. I can tell you that if you are not in agreement about what to do, it can tear your relationship apart. You need to sit down with your boyfriend and come to a decision about where your relationship is going. If you plan on staying together, then the only recommendation I would have would be for you NOT to have children because of the possibility of birth defects from you being related. As for the families, if they would disown you, that would be a huge negative to get over and most relationships are not strong enough to handle that. We need our family’s emotional support, so that's another consideration. This is really your decision, and no one else’s.
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